Spiderman 3 - First Review

The movie of the summer is here, and here's your first look... no spoilers, I promise!

In a word: letdown. I hate to say it, but the movie just wasn't that good. It was very reminiscent of the latest Superman movie. Lot's of hype, lots of expectations, but in the end it just didn't live up.

To begin, well, it didn't. It literally took about a half hour just to get moving. Lots of setup. Lots of melodrama. Little action. I kept wondering when the action would start. Back-story. Foreshadowing. Love scenes. Drama. No action. I could have stood for about 10-15 minutes of setup, but it took twice that.

"This is an intricate story," you say. "It needs detailed setup." I'll give you that. However, I think what made it so unbearable was the fact that the lines were awful and the acting was worse. Comic book movies are supposed to be a little cheesy, I know, but the audience was literally groaning from the cheese factor.

After the action did begin, it didn't last. There were long, excruciating bouts of drama. Poorly written, terribly acted drama. A friendship between two main characters was so sappily acted that the audience was shouting gay jokes. The writers try to force some kind of drama between Peter and MJ and the plot is very weak. Think daytime soap opera. A good action scene would ensue, only to be followed by 10-20 minutes of "Days of Our Lives."

Speaking of the plot, the writers make a failed attempt at twists, only to end up weaving a weak web that is not believable, even for a comic book movie. Characters are connected by weak threads and driven by shallow, predictable motives. "You killed my Dad, you killed my uncle, you kissed my girl, blah blah blah."

Let's move on. Everyone wants to see black spiderman. How did he turn out? Bad. Very bad. At one point, the guy next to me called him "Emo Spiderman." There is a scene with Emo-man that is so cheesy it rivals Jim Carey's "The Mask." At one point it felt like I was watching the blooper reel, or deleted scenes instead of the actual film. Like the editors just finally gave up and left everything in. Remember that easter egg in the Star Wars DVD where Yoda dances with the Storm Troopers? Yes. That's exactly what you'll see. I'm not kidding. It's that bad.

But what about the action scenes? In the beginning, they were very enjoyable. But after the first two, it got old. It was almost as if they had no new ideas. They kept using the same fights over and over. Not to mention that there comes a point when the "camera" is moving so fast that all you can make out is a blur for the entire scene.

Without giving anything away, I'll also say that there a many things left unexplained. And not in a "we'll explain them next time" kind of way. There are just things that happen that are only there because they had happen for the movie to move forward. No connection at all.

Is there anything good to say about this film? Yes. I am amazed what they are doing with special effects. The first time you see Sandman, you will be impressed. Incredible detail, excellent effects.

It's just too bad it seems they spend all their time on the FX, and no time on the acting, writing, or plot.